Evil Knievel, The Imaginary, Curmudgeonly Troll, Eats Thermostats, Gender Changing Peppers

Earlier this summer, the kids in one of the creative writing camps I teach through The Cabin Idaho (a Boise-based literary center) came up with an imaginary troll named Evil Knievel that haunts the tiny, hobbit-looking supply closet in one of the classrooms there.

hobbit door of color.jpg

It’s a total hobbit hole, only rectangular.

Naturally, after the kids had invented it, they wanted to feed it.

So they started drawing pictures of food and slipping them under the door for the troll.

the closet full of nom noms

At first the food they fed it was normal things like an apple, a piece of licorice, or a Goomba from Super Mario Bros.

fixed apple candy goomba

One anachronistic kid fed it a thermostat.

thermostat fixed

Trolls only like eating thermostats at a cool 39 degrees.

Then things got a little bit weirder.

One kid decided to feed it just candy and lettuce, and it was a disaster.

buffet of just lettuce and candy fixed

“It’s allergic to lettuce!” a kid shrieked in response, “It’s allergic to anything green!”

“It’s a troll. Trolls are tough. It’ll be okay,” I said, “But if you’re really that concerned, draw it some medicine.”

So kids drew medicine and a LifePak heart defibrillator and slipped them under the door.

life pack and troll meds fixed

The following day, they started drawing Evil Knievel a much more varied diet.

One kid gave it an enormous piece of ginger. Another decided to feed it a single grape being heated in the microwave.

ginger and a single grape in the microwave fixed

I have heated a lone grape in the microwave many times, that kid must have thought while he drew this.

The day after that, kids started slipping it some magic potions, like inexplicably, a trio of gender changing peppers.

gender changing peppers spicy fixed

One kid fed it a chair.

“The chair’s for sitting on,” the kid explained, “It has no furniture in there.”

a single chair fixed

Despite the troll’s green allergy, kids were drawing a steady stream of green food and willfully stuffing it under the door.

celery and jackfruit fixed

Green is the color of cruelty.

By the end of the week, the kids had fed the troll about 50 different bizarre foods. Once camp was done, they all ran off,  leaving me the owner of a hobbit closet filled with an eccentric, imaginary troll larder I have no idea what to do with.

evil kinevils buffet fixed 1

Observe the “cruelty section” of green foods at the top.

One only hopes the troll will polish them all off soon.

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